I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
