Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
