ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The power of my boobs compel you
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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