Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I forget how to act sober
Randomize