I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you made out with another girl for some wings
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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