all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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