So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
