who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
