I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
