big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
