Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Alive.
So much puke
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
