I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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