Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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