Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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