just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
