glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
