Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
