I cockslap morals
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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