I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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