so that wasnt chicken after all
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
