If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
