Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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