I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
