News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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