I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
People in love make me want to vomit
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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