i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
