i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
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