I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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