Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
