My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
