a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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