am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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