Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
