we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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