she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
how drunk are you?
Several
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
