the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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