I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
