I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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