His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
