I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
