TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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