You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
