I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
