question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
