I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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