i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
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He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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