no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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