omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
