I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So. Much. Porn.
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