And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
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Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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