Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want her autograph on my taint
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
