My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
