I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize