Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You smell like stripper and shame
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
