420 ftw
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
