fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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