those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
