i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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