Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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