so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think my vagina is haunted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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