He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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