I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
