Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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