office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
